333 Ways To Get Kicked Out of Konoha
by DarkNutDestroyer
Summary: A totally wacky story of random encounters, accidents and pranks in Konoha.
1. 11 through 11

**Hello. My name is DarkNutDestroyer. I read fanfictions for some time now and I decided to give it a shot. This is my first fanfic . I hope it is not too bad. I inspired myself from the stories "333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Walmart" and "333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of HQ". Please support me! Your reviews are all welcome and I hope you offer good advices and suggestions!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

**333 Ways To Get Kicked Out of Konoha**

**1. Make up nonsense rules and ask freshly-graduated genins if they have followed them.**

Konohamaru didn't realise it was a trap until he was being chased by a horde of angry kunoichis chasing after him for peeping at them in the Baths house

**2. Smash the person in front of you with a ham.**

The Fire Daimyo was utterly confused when he received a report saying that all of Konoha's ham supply had been completely depleted. He never received news about the Legendary Ham War of Konoha.

**3. Exchange a ninja's kunai pouch with a pouch of dildos.**

Kakashi of the Sharingan has been completely humiliated when he saw his new title in the Bingo Books: Kakashi of the Flaming Dildo.

**4. Paint the entire Hokage Tower orange.**

Unfortunately, the culprit was never found, but a signature of "**El Uzumako"** has been left. The investigation unit is still studying the case.

**5. Take control of the Konoha's Emergency Speakers and use it to make a radio show.**

Not even Shikamaru knew how Asuna did it, but he is currently using the speakers for a radio show. The show became extremely popular and several other attempts to copy it have been made in the other villages.

**6. Dye somebody's hair in an unusual color.**

The entire population of Konoha got their hair dyed blond. Surprisingly, the Hyuga clan chose to keep the color. They say that it is their punishment for having been pranked, but everybody knows that they simply like the new look.

**7. Attempt to steal the Hokages hat.**

No one knew why Jiraya of the Sennin was found hanging without clothes in the female part of the Hot Springs. The woman, however, enjoyed beating the life out of him. They never saw Hiruzen Sarutobi filming the whole encounter with a camera.

**8. Go to the market and start singing the song"I'm Sexy and I know it".**

The audience was surprised to learn that Maito Gai could sing pretty well. He made a band and is currently making a world tour all across the Elemental Nations.

**9. Come to the Ninja Academy in ridiculous clothes.**

No one dare to ask Sasuke why he was wearing pink clothes and glasses. The last unlucky student to have asked got ruthlessly clobbered. Poor Eric Cartman. Rest his poor, fat, bastard soul.

**10. Give dog treats to people saying they are exotic sweats.**

Choji forgot Kiba had a dog treat addiction. At least he managed to lose some weight by running all over Konoha from a completely crazy Inuzuka.

**11. Take some senbons and try to balance them on every part of your body.**

The current record holder is Genma with his outstanding number of 289 senbons.

**Please Review!**


	2. 12 through 22

**DarkNutDestroyer here! This is a new chapter! Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

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><p><strong>333 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Konoha<strong>

**12. Try to guess what's happening in someone's head.**

Ino Yamanaka got hospitalised in the psychiatric section of the Konoha Hospital after taking control of Maito Gai's mind to prevent him from hugging his apprentice. Ino is still in coma and occasionally screams: "SO MUCH YOUTH!" After recovering (after 3 months), she received a medal for public safety.

**13. Stalk someone****。**

Naruto Uzumaki has been followed all day by a mysterious individual. He never knew that the Byakugan could see trough clothes. Hyuuga Hinata soon joined Ino in the hospital suffering from successive nosebleeds.

**14. Dress in a ridiculous costume and make your friends dress in similar clothes.**

"No Lee! I won't wear your ranger costume!"

"Come on, Neji! Together, we'll be the Konoha Rangers!"

"Lee! Neji! Gai-sensei said that there's training this aftern…(sees Lee trying to take off Neji's clothes)"

"…"

"Uhhh… Am I interrupting something?"

"No Tenten! You got it all wrong!"

**15. Randomly go people and smack in their face saying: "I thought we had something!"**

Asuma was left crying in the middle of the street after Kurenai hit him.

**16. Put kids clothes and play in a sandbox.**

Gaara was confused when Kankuro came to him and asked to him if he could play in his sand Needless to say that Gaara didn't like to be confused and that confusion often leads to murderous rampages. The Kazekage was not happy.

**17. Pretend that you're having a violent seizure.**

When Hinata finally recovered from her nosebleeds, she woke up next to a completely beaten-up Naruto, who got punched by Sakura for almost giving her a heart-attack. Hinata quickly went back to coma.

**18. Put on a robot suit and walk down the street saying****"****Please put own your weapon, you have 20 seconds to comply"**

Everyone thought that it was a prank…until they realised that it was Tenzo in his** Fusion Robo Tenzorn**… and that it could shoot very very hard seeds. Let's just say that Hiruzen was not amused.

**19. Drop somebody's pants.**

No one knew how he did it, but Kiba managed to drop Shino's pants. Who knew beetle boxers were actually cute?

**20. Play a theater act.**

"Orochimaru-sama, are you sure it's a good idea?"

"Of course it is, Kabuto! For the last act, you'll jump from this 10-story high building, make some back-flips and some random acrobatics and finally, land gracefully on this box of highly dangerous chemicals."

"Ah! Okay! Easy enough…wait, did you say dangerous chemicals?"

"Don't worry! It'll be fine! Let's go! (Pushes Kabuto from the edge)"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Kabuto! I said back-flip, not front-flips! And by acrobatics, I didn't say to lose your pants! Watch ou….Oh, that's gotta hurt…"

Later at the hospital

"Well, Kabuto, looks like you'll have to stay here for six months. At least you managed to make the act a complete success! Let's do this again next year!"

Orochimaru never saw the chakra scapel come his way.

**21. Do some break-dancing.**

Naruto tried to do it, but entered a depression when he realised he was too small to do a whirlwind.

**22. Hunt the boogie-man.**

"I tell you Shika, there's a monster under my bed!"

"Don't be stupid, Ino! Monsters don't exist!"

(Shikamaru checks under Ino's bed and sees a completely drunk Choji covered with peanut butter.)

"I take back what I said"

**Hate it? Like it? Please review!**


	3. 23 through 33

**Hello. DarkNutDestroyer here with a brand-new chapter of "333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Konoha! I hope you'll like it! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

* * *

><p><strong>333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Konoha<strong>

**23. Throw a massive party involving LOADS of beer.**

Kurenai swore to never follow Anko to a party. The massive headache helped a lot to make her do this promise.

**24. Play ninja.**

Let's just say that in this world, playing ninja includes massive destruction and overkill techniques.

**25. Do the ice bucket challenge.**

Kakashi regretted his words when he saw Gai turned it into a competition of the last one standing under a waterfall.

**26. Go out on Halloween night.**

The worst part was when sugar-high Choji and a scary Yamato went on a sugary rampage to steal all the little kid's candy.

**27. Play Dungeons & Dragons.**

A massive battle-royal started to decide who would be the ninja.

**28. Start an eating competition.**

The mistake the judges made was to let the participants choose their food. The Hokage was not happy after seeing the bill of the competition.

"Come on! Who would eat 5 tons of dango, 10 of ramen and 15 of barbecue?"

Trough the village, a snake mistress, a prankster king and a hungry Akamichi sneezed.

**29. Sell calendars to fund a project.**

"Who is the idiot who let Gai be the director? We received dozens of complaints of eye damage and moral indecency!"

"Uhh… Hokage-sama, it was you did it..."

"…"

(Opens a calendar, starts crying blood, and then jumps out the window.)

"Hokage-sama!"

**30. Discover new things in the world.**

One day, Neji came into Hinata's room without knocking and sees her making puppets of Naruto and herself kissing and snuggling together. He thought it was cute… until he saw that the Hinata puppet was wearing a dominatrix outfit. Neji would never see her again the same way.

**31. Make a diary.**

After Jiraiya's death, Naruto found his diary and decided to publish it. The problem was that there was so much smut in it that every publishers refused the copy.

**32. Create a religion with you as the supreme leader.**

"Kakuzu, I decided to finally stop being a Jashin disciple…"

"Finally!"

"…Instead, I'll be its supreme leader!"

"Wait! You can't do that!"

"Of course I can! I'm the only member!"

"Well, can't argue with that."

**33. Create a portal to another universe.**

Kakashi saw that Madara has sent a massive meteorite towards Konoha. He used his **Kamui **to send it somewhere else.

**In another universe**

"Ha! You'll never be able to defeat me, Fairy Tail!"

"We'll never give up, Jose!"

"Meh. I'll simply destroy all of you with my ultimate weapon. Fire the Jupiter Canon!"

The whole guild, defeated and exhausted was watching their death about to be shot at them…

…until a meteorite appeared out of nowhere in the sky and crashed on the gigantic robot.

"What happened?" said a very confused Natsu.

"I don't care, let's just go home and not care about this shit."said Makarov.

The guild nodded and they went home.

There was simply too much shit that happened today.

**How was this chapter? Like it? Hate it? Please review!**


	4. 34 through 44

**Hello everyone, DarkNutDestroyer here! I'm sorry for the long wait so let's skip this presentation and start the chapter right now! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

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><p><strong>333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Konoha<strong>

**34. Organize a marathon.**

It started smoothly, but every contestant abandoned when they saw that Gai and Lee decided to participate.

**35. Disguise as a Martian and start to scare people during the night.**

Unfortunately for Choji, a fat alien doesn't scare much. For matters worse, some ANBU units apprehended him for public indecency.

**36. Fake your death.**

Hiruzen managed to pull Orochimaru into the prank. So it was much of a surprise when the Hokage came out of nowhere during his funeral. He got beaten to a pulp for pulling this bad joke.

**37. Go to an old geezer and say: "Grandpa! You're alive! It's a miracle!"**

Kakashi was sobbing in a corner for the last three hours, muttering that his hair was naturally grey.

**38. Have a barbecue.**

Akatsuki made the mistake of inviting Deidara to the barbecue. The barbecue soon became another victim of his pyrotechnic tendencies.

**39. Create a stampede.**

No one knew where Naruto found all those cows, but this act of completely useless destruction became an annual festive day during which everyone stripped naked and rolled around in the mud around a huge bonfire while cows were released all around the village.

**40. Put oil all around the city.**

At first, it was hilarious to watch the civilians slip and fall on the oil, until an imbecile *cough* Sasuke*cough* made a fire jutsu without thinking about it. The Konoha's fireman sent the bill to the Uchiha's heir.

**41. Get a batman costume, put it on, and run around screaming at the top of your lungs: "COME ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!"**

It was already weird when they say Maito Gai run around with a black suit, but it became extremely awkward when Rock Lee ran after him in a ridiculous traffic light-colored costume.

**42. Go to a "stick in his ass" guy and ask him if it's his "time of the month".**

This morning, people were confused why Hiashi Hyuuga was running after Kiba Inuzuka who was laughing like a madman. They simply shrugged their shoulders and went to do their daily chores.

**43. Go to the bathroom with a cantaloupe (hidden). Make grunting noises and drop the fruit in the toilet. Go out and say:"Ahhh…much better!"**

Ino and Shikamaru never saw Choji the same way.

**44. Two words: PAINTBALL. BATTLE.**

Complete destruction and annihilation. How else would you think it would end? At least it was fun.

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